TITLE SHOT!
WHAM!
Suddenly, Dex Joy falls face-first on the stage like he was shot out of a cannon.
Reality is… The Game Boy stands behind him.
DDK:
I saw that! Game Boy just clubbed Dex in the back of the head with a forearm! What a blindsiding attack!
Lance:
I’m afraid the attack is just starting, Keebs…
The crowd boos as Game Boy tilts his neck, loudly cracking it in the process. The Game Boy boots The Biggest Boy in the chest as he was trying to get up and then the hulking henchman proceeds to absolutely unload on Dex, forcing the fan favourite all the way down the ramp and back towards the ring with as many kicks and punches as Game Boy can provide.
Percy Collins, Thurston Hunter, ALEX P. and MEE6 also emerge from behind the FIST logo. Hunter, ALEX P. and MEE6 are particularly eager to get in on the beating. They join Game Boy in pummeling Dex down the rampway, even though it’s really The Game Boy doing all the work. It’s like a high school science project, one group member is doing the heavy lifting and the others are along for the ride.
Percy Collins slowly marches down behind them holding the Conor Fuse + Nintendo branded mash-up duffle bag he was seen with earlier. Looking like the mastermind behind the attack, Collins rubs his hands together in delight and chuckles like an over-the-top cartoon movie villain.
Dex Joy fumbles into the edge of the ring and apron before Game Boy is about to deliver a promising blow. The rest of the goons back away, all dancing in excitement as Game Boy kneels down and removes his right knee pad.
Thurston Hunter: [screaming]
HE’S GONNA WEAPON GET YOU SLUT-HOE-SHIT-BAG!!! Fucking right, get that damn shit, spit that hydro ghetto shit-
♫ “King DeDeDe Remix Theme” from Kirby’s Dream Land ♫
The crowd erupts as Conor Fuse comes sprinting out from the back. He blows right past Percy Collins but The Game Boy realizes what’s happening in the nick of time. The giant BOT sees Conor flying towards the group and Game Boy catches Fuse in mid-air with a bearhug! Conor tries to break free by kicking around but he can’t do it. Upon seeing they may not have a lot of time, Hunter smacks ALEX P. and MEE6 on the chest like they have to pick up the slack ASAP. The trio begin hammering away on Dex with real blows now. Hunter shouts to Collins and the Comments Section “therapist” tosses the duffle bag he was holding over to Hunter. Thurston opens the bag and reveals a “new” Paper Championship, this one made out of thicker construction paper, looking identical to the FIST of DEFIANCE.
Hunter perks his head towards Conor, who’s still trying to break free but to no avail.
Thurston Hunter:
You’re going to love this, Con-Man! Bahahaha!
Hunter reaches into the duffle bag again and reveals a glue stick. As ALEX P. and MEE6 keep beating down Dex Joy (it’s much easier after all the initial work Game Boy did), Hunter begins rolling the glue stick over the top of the new Construction Paper FIST Championship.
Finally, it looks like Fuse is about to make the save and break free from Game Boy’s clutches when Game Boy HURLS Conor into the guard rail!
Hunter breathes a sigh of relief and then tosses the glue stick into the crowd. Thurston takes hold of the duffle bag once more and pulls out another item. It’s a powder blue question mark box, similar to one Conor Fuse used to carry around with him in the OG Fuse Bros. says.
Thurston Hunter:
OH FUCKING DAB, look at how SILLY I am right now!
Hunter giggles with glee, acting like he’s vintage annoying Conor Fuse from 2020.
Thurston Hunter:
Let’s see what SILLY SHIT is inside!!
Hunter punches the box open and looks inside, although the contents can’t be seen by anyone else.
Thurston Hunter:
Ain’t no mushrooms in here, bitch!
And with a shit eating face, Thurston proceeds to tip the bag up-side-down, pouring out a ton of thumbtacks onto the Construction FIST.
DDK:
This is not good.
Hunter screams in Conor Fuse’s direction.
Thurston Hunter:
LOOK AT HOW FUCKING SILLY I AM. TEEHEE, SO FUCKING SILLY.
For once in his life, Thurston Hunter might actually seem threatening. He tells ALEX P. and MEE6 to lift Dex Joy. The two goons aren’t able to do a great job but it’s good enough. Meanwhile, Hunter holds the strap in the air by gripping the only area he didn’t lay thumbtacks down on. It looks like he’s going to whip the strap forward, like a belt, across Dex’s back when he suddenly stops and wanders over to Conor Fuse, who’s only now coming to.
Hunter presents the belt to Conor and Percy Collins saunters over with an ear-to-ear grin.
Percy Collins:
One of us.
The Rest of The Comments Section (minus Game Boy):
ONE OF US.
Fuse is down on a knee. He looks up at Hunter, then the “construction tack belt” and lastly, at Collins. His face grows sour. Of course, he’s not going to take it.
Percy Collins:
One of us!
The Rest of The Comments Section (minus Game Boy):
ONE OF US!
Percy Collins:
ONE OF US!
The Rest of The Comments Section (minus Game Boy):
ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
Collins looks over to Hunter with a demeanor signifying Thurston should go ahead with the plan himself so Thurston marches over to the fallen Dex Joy, lifts the belt across his head-
And Conor leaps into the picture, right past Game Boy and Collins, snatching the cardboard belt from Hunter’s mitts! The crowd roars! As this happens, Dex Joy gains his whereabouts, proceeding to throw MEE6 into the steel steps and ALEX P. into the ring post.
DDK:
Dex is loose! Dex is loose! The Comments Section almost got the drop on him after this match with Michael Van Warren, but Dex is fighting back!
Lance:
And look! They’re making a retreat!
Hunter, Collins and Game Boy begin to retreat up the rampway!
Joy meets eyes with Conor Fuse… and sees him holding a construction paper title with thumbtacks attached to it. The DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful realize what Dex might be thinking …
OOOOOOOOOOHHH!
Fuse double takes.
Conor Fuse:
Whoa, wait. I was trying to SAVE you!
Dex Joy:
Get the hell out of my way! Now!
Maybe Joy believes Conor, maybe he doesn’t. Either way, The Biggest Boy blows right past Fuse and up the ramp, in pursuit of Collins, Hunter and their oversized bodyguard.
Conor Fuse: [shouting to Dex Joy]
Go watch the replays, you’ll see!
Joy doesn’t stop. By now he’s fled behind the curtain leaving Conor Fuse standing there beside a knocked out ALEX P. to his right and MEE6 to his left. Conor looks down at the construction paper title he’s holding. He discards it to his left, shakes his head and starts marching up the rampway as DEFtv goes to commercial.